ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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