guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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