Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
