4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
