My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Text me some of your sweat
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
