Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
