I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
