just come out here and I will go home with you...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
