I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
