I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
