hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
