It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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