I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
