how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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