I think I am morally bankrupt
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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