In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
