Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
