once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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