meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
