remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
