a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My pussy is not your playground.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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