Sponge bath it is.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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