Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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