My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
