They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
