she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize