We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
