Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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