Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
