Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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