I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
