Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
