i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
