This is not my ceiling
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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