Whod you bang
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
