omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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