puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
