Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He better not be in your backpack
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
