You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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