We're like a lot better than the average bears
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
