3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
