Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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