I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
