Just took my morning after pill in the library
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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