Can i not drive my cunt home
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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