haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
