the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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