Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
