I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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