Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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